It’s past midnight and I am awake. That awful state of so awake I can’t sleep and so effing exhausted it’s ridiculous.
Foot issues have not resolved, in fact I think they have gone backwards more pain today than earlier in the week.
I have had enough.
I want to rage and cry and scream.
I want to do things without relying on other people. I want walk without it hurting. I want to live a life and do it all… or at least do something!
Doctor Who once said “we’re all just stories in the end make yours a good one.” How can I be a good story? What do I have to say? What can I say when I barely leave the house, when I do nothing alone…
I look around my classes and I can’t make friends. I cannot relate to these people. I am almost 10 years older than them. In three years they will graduate and I … I won’t.
Life is a bitch and fickle too. Why did I get all this pain? Is there a purpose?
Can I have a sign I’m on the right path? Should I pick a new one again? Give me a sign. Anything please.
Take care of you.
My Chronic Pain Diaries 