Happy new year!

As one year ends and a new one begins I think we must look for the joys yet to come, mourn our losses, stand our ground when we need to, especially when other people need us to.

 

Our world is changing and maybe not for the best. But we don’t know that for sure.

 

We must take the high road, always and above all. Go high when they (whomever they are) go low. Maintain your dignity, poise and grace in the face of hatred, prejudice  and misjustice.

 

Above all, always remember you are important, you have a voice to be heard and you deserve to go after what you want and get it!

 

As ever, I shall sign off for the last time this year, take care of you.

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Moana

I promise no spoilers!

I really enjoyed the film. Typical Disney film but I love those. I am however beyond exhausted. So this will be short and sweet.

I signed for first semester of uni, next year as well today. Not excited yet. Take care of you.

Plans!

I don’t often make plans, but I did today for tomorrow. I am going to see Moana in the cinemas. I figure I’ll be okay, it’s inside and sitting down… so no spoilers!

I’m going with my dad. My mum and sister are having a girl’s day. I was invited but chose not to go.

Not much to update otherwise. It has been an easy day, I have spent it on the sofa watching tv, movies and the Christmas episode of Doctor Who. Excited for the new season!!

Take care of you.

Milestone!

I have hit a blog milestone: 100 likes. Thank you. To all of you who read, like and/or comment.

This started as a way for me to express my frustrations and I honestly never thought anyone would bother to read it. So a big hug to each of you.

I am still having a bad fibro flare which is making me exhausted.  Sleep take a while to come but it does and for a decent amount of time as well. Most nights, at least. Got any natual pain relief remedies?

Take care of you.

Urgh.

Today has been an urgh day. High pain, high fatigue, bloating, low mood… just feeling urgh.

I woke up at about 10am, went to the bathroom and then back to bed for another hour before I could function enough for food.

My joints are stiff. I have had paracetamol every 4 hours but nothing much helps so I am hoping for enough sleep to be able to function tomorrow. Take care of you.

Chronic Christmas.

Christmas Day has come and gone. It was restful and lazy and still utterly exhausting.

Yes, Santa did come. Yes I was good this year. No I am not regretting the second helping of Christmas pudding.

I hope you all have a magical day and an unlimited supply of Spoons to get you though today and the next few.

Merry Christmas and take care of you. ❤

Rest, finally.

All Christmas baking is done and complete.  Hazelnut shortbread, Christmas cake, mince pies, mud cake…

Finally finished. I can rest tomorrow. And be good (ish) on Christmas Day.

Fingers crossed the pain is not too high.

Take care of you.

Painsomnia

It’s here again. Surging through  every vein. Like fire… burning, raging, red-hot, out of control.

Tis the season. For what? Sadness, listlessness, giving up? Nope. Perpeptual hope. Ha. Hope is for the optimistic, the carefree, the unbroken.

Hope is not for me. Hope for a cure, a means to ease, an end to suffering. Hope is for the foolish.

I wish I could believe. In something. Anything. But I don’t. I can’t. The pain crashes reality around me. It cuts short any belief or hope. Just a burden of pain wraps around me, keeping me safe.

I am safe in the pain. I know who I am. I know when to stop. Take it away and who will I be? The possibility is limitless. Of the burdens I would be free.

I do not know. I will not know. I am emsconsed in the pain  It is me. I am it. Let me go, enough to sleep. This stranglehold you cannot keep  It is not fair, and I need to sleep. Let me go, lest I weep.

Lay my head down to rest. Insomnia is a test. One I will not best. I’m burning up. The fire has begun. This is a war I have not won.

My pleas for release are unheard. My silence grows stronger and my body becomes weaker. Help me, can’t you see? I’m not me. I am not free.

The chains this pain wraps around me, drowns and pulls and tugs and hurts… I am fed up. My fight is gone.

Please. Just let me sleep.