Today has not been the best of days. I did not sleep well, I woke up and went back to sleep and woke up again with my head all over the place. It has been hot and uncomfortable. I went out and I probably shouldn’t have. I read more of Harry Potter than I should have. I ate something that I reacted to because my throat swelled. Not a lot, enough that I can feel it and swallowing is difficult. And I don’t kow what caused it because it is all things I have eaten before.
Anyway my point is trying to find positivity in today. It is hard.
I can be positive through pain. I can find positivity through the mundane. I can see beauty in the moon in the day sky. I find beauty everywhere and in everyone.
I see the good in people. I see the bad. I see their beauty and their ugliness, inside and out. I see them judging me and offer no judgement in return. I defend myself when necessaryml, I let others defend me when I need them to.
Some days are tough. Finding the good in today was one of those tough days. Not even my nephew and family, the sunshine and the beach could get me out of the funk.
I found no beauty in the people I passed. No joy in the sunshine, no happiness in my laughter. I found myself falling silent, wishing I was at home. Wishing I could be happy today, even for a moment, wishing I could be painfree and carefree. Wishing… always wishing and never getting.
Today I have no belief. I have no foundation to lay my thoughts at. I am melancholy.
I shall sleep and wake up tomorrow anew. For “tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it. Yet.”* Take care of you.
*Anne of Green Gables