Do you ever feel that because chronic illnesses have, generally, the same problems that they always come second best?
I find that when my family ask what’s wrong and I say pain or tired or nauseous etc the response I tend to get is ‘oh.’ The unspoken is that all sort of hangs in the air.
So, like today, if I’m acting a bit meh… I get no reaction. My sister, however, calls and says she’s lonely gets told to come round, gets hugs and one-on-one time with the mum and the dad. I’m left playing/minding my nephew.
I feel like everything I do is not as important or is secondary to my sister and what she does/feels.
Mum said to me this afternoon- are you okay? You seem a bit blah.
My response- I feel blah. But that was it. I got nothing more. I gave her a hug earlier on and after a couple of seconds got told ‘that’s enough’ and I haven’t had a hug since. Only from my nephew when he said hello and goodbye.
I’m not a tactile person with many people but I am with my family, only they don’t seem to want to hug me much anymore. I will do a little experiment, I won’t initiate any hugs and see what happens…
Maybe I’m just being silly because it isn’t a good day physically or mentally. But that doesn’t invalidate my feelings. Maybe I’m just touch starved…
*sighs* take care of you.