Second best.

Do you ever feel that because chronic illnesses have, generally, the same problems that they always come second best?

I find that when my family ask what’s wrong and  I say pain or tired or nauseous etc the response I tend to get is ‘oh.’ The unspoken is that all sort of hangs in the air.

So, like today, if I’m acting a bit meh… I get no reaction. My sister, however, calls and says she’s lonely gets told to come round, gets hugs and one-on-one time with the mum and the dad. I’m left playing/minding my nephew.

I feel like everything I do is not as important or is secondary to my sister and what she does/feels.

Mum said to me this afternoon- are you okay? You seem a bit blah.

My response- I feel blah. But that was it. I got nothing more. I gave her a hug earlier on and after a couple of seconds got told ‘that’s enough’ and I haven’t had a hug since. Only from my nephew when he said hello and goodbye.

I’m not a tactile person with many people but I am with my family, only they don’t seem to want to hug me much anymore. I will do a little experiment, I won’t initiate any hugs and see what happens…

Maybe I’m just being silly because it isn’t a good day physically or mentally. But that doesn’t invalidate my feelings. Maybe I’m just touch starved…

*sighs* take care of you.


5 thoughts on “Second best.

  1. I don’t think its that others think to put you last but more so they don’t really realize they do it, or understand whats going on. It can be rough to explain something in a way they fully grasp. All I could suggest is to try talking to them, and maybe things would get better if they knew, i’m not sure. o.o


    1. You’re more than likely right, that they don’t realise. I tend to play my cards close to my chest, whereas my sister wears her heart on her sleeve. So it’s obvious when she needs comfort and not so much when I do.


      1. Most people do, its easier than explaining usually but never know maybe trying to open up to them could help. 🙂


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