Restless legs, restless mind.

I had an episode of ‘restless legs’ tonight. At least I think it is restless legs… more seizure like but located solely in my legs. Painful and they can last amd make me nauseous.

They always leave me feeling exhausted and wired. I’m so wide awake and in such pain that sleep seems impossible. And so wanted.

I feel so despondant right now. Aimless, adrift in the sea of life that keeps bringing wave after wave, storm after storm crashing down over me. I want it to stop. I want life to be easy-just for a little wile at least. But, as always, my prayers, my pleas fall on the deaf ears of gods and deities I don’t believe in.

I must keep treading water, floating on into an overwhelming darkness. Find something to hold on to… something that won’t drag me down into the depths. Find a beacon of light, for the sun has set and the moon and stars behind a cloud…

The silence is unending. There is no one to hear my cry and wail and scream.

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