There are cracks don’t you see?
Behind the façade that is me.
Look closely, there will be breaks
in between every one of the aches.
The pain leaves no marks or scars
each excruciating moment is ours…
Ours to own and cling to
when no one else has a clue
of what we go through each day:
the fatigue and pain that gets in the way.
This battle is mine, I have no proof,
an invisible war that makes me aloof.
Who else feels this like me?
No one, don’t you see?
I am alone with sufferers and survivours
though we are united by our painful drivers.
There are no wounds that bleed and weep
there are monsters when we try to sleep.
I have nothing to show for this war
the tedious detail which will bore
you eventually. This illness is isolating…
I am forever waiting
Waiting for you to see the toll
it takes on me, the life it stole,
the smiles it broke and the tears it made
has my debt not already been paid?
My constant companion, my silent ally
I will not let you make me cry.
Not again, not for you. I am
through with the goddam
pain and fatigue
no one else is in this league.
I want to be through
You will not win.
I will not give in.